The Problem With Lies

In my last blog I talked about my love story. Near the middle I mentioned being told that Travis thought I was annoying and that he didn’t like me. For two whole years I believed that lie. It had consumed my thought and almost made me give up and just forget. Today I wanna talk about how much a single lie can affect your life. Have you ever been told a lie? Better question. Have you ever told a lie? If you said no, you can add another lie to that list. No body is perfect and we all lie. Now think back on the most recent lie you can think of. What was it? Was it simply to get you out of doing something? Was it to spare someones feelings? Or was it something way worst? If I think back I think the last lie I told was sometime yesterday. My friend had asked me who my best friend was, and although she was a very good friend, I knew someone who I got along with better, and whom I was closer with. But, she was only 9 (girl in the picture) and most 9 year old’s, don’t want to be rejected or dissed, so I told her she was my best friend. She believes it, and we are really good friends. But it’s hard for her to realize the 6 year age gap and how if she has other friends, most likely I do too. So my point for you today is, don’t listen to everything you hear, and be ready for rejection. It will come, and there is no avoiding it. When faced with a time where you’re challenged between telling the truth or lying, always stick with the truth. Give them an answer that tells them the correct information, but doesn’t hurt their feelings. Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it! Remember to like, comment and follow my blog for more great tips and hints.

My love story

This blog is going to be about my first love story. I just hope he doesn’t read this. So about 5 years ago is when I first ‘noticed’ Travis. Sure I had seen him around, I knew his name, and we were friends, but I had never really seen him that way. I remember when it first hit me, it was like a sudden pang of pain that was on inside of me. I felt like he was the one I was going to marry. Well a couple weeks past and me, being the stupid little girl I was, told him I liked him. I’ll never forget it. He had been wearing his jean jacket with patches all over it, something I always adored. I asked him if I could talk to him and pulled him behind kids church. It was a Sunday and no one was back there at the moment. I told him I liked him and what he said next, I’ll never forget. He said “I know”. I was confused and asked him what he meant. It was then he explained how he saw me looking over at him and how I’d smile as he walked by. Of course I was oblivious to it though and had no idea I had been subconsciously sending signals to him. After that day, time went in a blur. Birthdays started approaching. His is in April mine in February. If you knew him, you’d know he’s a really sweet and kind guy, in fact his nickname IS Sweet Trav. Well for my birthday he got my a lovely scented candle, a tiger sketch he had drawn, and a blue homemade New Mexican bracelet. Well when his birthday came I thought really long and hard about what he’d like. At the time he liked two things of my knowledge. Martial arts and outdoors. So after I thought a while I settled on a head lamp that cost 10 dollars. Now to someone older, 10 dollars was nothing, but to me, an 11 year old, 10 dollars was about 3 months of saving every penny I could find. I wrapped it all up all nice and pretty and gave it to him on his birthday which fortunately for me was a Sunday. I was glad when he liked it. If he was happy, I was happy. He had once invited me to a school dance. I was so upset when I couldn’t go because I had literally just thrown up my cherry slushies at church. Well about 5 months later, he and I hadn’t been talking as much as before and I started to doubt he liked me back. I finally got one of my friends (unknown to this day) to ask him how he felt. When they came back they told me he didn’t like me and thought I was annoying. I was absolutely heartbroken for a week. I became slightly depressed and in that I decided ‘if he doesn’t like me, I won’t be around him. If he thinks I’m annoying I’ll stay away’ i wanted him happy and if he was upset with being around me then I didn’t want to be around him. We didn’t talk much for almost 2 years. I tried my hardest to forget, and denied it everytime someone would say I liked him. Sometimes denial is the biggest sign of a broken heart. It wasn’t until 2 years ago in, I believe, May that my mom said something that made me realize how I really felt. We were sitting at the table making red velvet, cake pops for a fundraiser. She said something along these lines: ‘I don’t see why you didn’t keep going after Travis. He was so sweet always getting you things and you just brushed him aside’ she did not know about what I had been told. I later learned from my dad that Travis would text him looking for me. I was too embarresed to talk to him face-to-face so I Facebooked him, apologizing and explaining what I thought had happened. That for me was like another confession. Still nothing though. After that I did something super embarrassing…. I had gathered a lot of courage that Tuesday in May. For some reason, choosing a slightly skimpy type top I was about to grow out of, a pair of black jeans, and 1 inch flip flop heals to wear that night. As they finished announcements I stood up and scowered the room and walked in the direction of my target. As I was about 5 feet away I called out “Hey Travis! Long time no see” and lifted my arms and gave him a large awkward hug… He said nothing but hey back, but sometimes I find myself wishing I could remember what that hug felt like. Was it warm or cold? Did he hug back? If he did, did he wrap his arms around my back or let them rest at my side? Did I put my head to the side or did I rest it on his shoulder. I can’t remember, no matter how hard I try… Afterwards I was super embarrassed. I wonder if he remembers it. We chatted through Facebook more after that, but I didn’t really know how to become better friends with him. Plus the fact I couldn’t talk to him with out feeling like my insides would burst. Eventually I got curious and asked him were we stood. He said we were at the height of a good friendship. I know he just didn’t want to make things awkward, but at that moment, I really wanted to know how he felt about me. He has never once told me even the slightest bit. I began questioning if I was pretty enough. If I was smart enough. If I was good enough. Well just last April my mom announced to me literally 4 days before that I could attend the home school prom at the four hills country club. Of course I didn’t want to go alone, I’d be very bored, so my mom began listing possible people to ask. She listed Toby or Jesse (both brothers, and friends of mine), and that’s when I asked if I could ask Travis. She said yes and I immediately ran to my computer, it being Tuesday night after church, I quickly pulled up Facebook and messaged Travis, asking if he would like to go to a prom with me that next Friday. He said yes. You can probably picture the little happy dance I did when he answered. I got a pretty blue dress from my grandma two days before and buying shoes from Walmart. He messaged me the day before asking what color my dress was, wanting to see if he had a tie to match. His choices were a pink one or a blue and yellow striped one. He chose the striped. The next morning was kind of hectic as I raced to get ready. I showered twice that morning not wanting to stink at all. My aunt came over the do my hair and I used an expensive foundation air brush for my makeup. My dad then drove me to Travis’s house to pick him up. Once there we walked up to the door and rang it. His house is nothing like I had imagined. Its white and looks small on the outside but I’m sure it’s bigger than it looks. Why am I talking about his house again? Oh yeah, it was because as soon as his dad answered the door and he came out from behind, I saw that look on his face. It made my stomach do flips and my heart flutter. It was a look of complete shock or amazement. Unlike what my grandma had thought, he brought me a corsage. Actually two. One that was store bought, on a snap bracelet; oh, but the daisies were so pretty. Then the other his friend had made for him to give to me. It had a pretty blue ribbon and beautiful white and pink flowers. It was absolutely gorgeous. I loved it so much. He put it on my wrist, tying it in a pretty bow, little did he know I’d untie it once or twice more just so that he could tie it back around my wrist again. When he did, sometimes his hand would brush against mine. Best feeling ever! After that we talked a little to his dad about were it was and when we thought we’d be bringing him home. We then got into the car, I very thankful that my dad had cleaned it out for me, we small talked. It was actually kind of awkward. At the actual prom, we signed in and entered the dance room. The music hadn’t started yet so we went out to the patio area. There is were he asked me if I had his number. I answered truthfully, because no I had not gotten his number. But that’s when he pulled out his phone and asked for mine. It was an awesome moment. You know that moment when you want to just shout ‘boo yah!’ to absolutely no one? Well this was one. We talked for a while until the music inside started, which then went in and danced to a few songs he knew. Mainly oldies of course. It was so much fun. More people crowded in and it became very hot so we decided to move to the foyer. There, we mainly asked each other questions. The usual, what do you want to be later in life, what’s you favorite…., if you could …… But that’s when he really surprised me by asking the question ‘who do you want to date when you’re older?’ well I thought about it. I knew the answer but didn’t want to seem stupid, so I listed through the guys I knew “well I don’t know many guys. There’s Toby, but he’s more like a brother. Jessie, but he’s a little weird and I don’t see him that way” I paused for a moment before continuing with “I don’t know, I’ve always wanted to date you”. His facial expression changed there. It was like he didn’t expect the answer even though he asked the question. We moved on though, but continued on the same subject of significant others. I asked about girlfriends he had had, he said he hadn’t dated other girls but when they asked him if he wanted to go out he’d grab their arm and walk them out the door saying ‘isn’t it beautiful out today?’. I laughed at this because I could actually see him doing that. The night ended when I called my dad and he picked us up. We took him home and chatted for a few minutes outside his house with his dad again before heading home. I hope I never forget that magical night. Since then nothing much has happened except my failed attempts at trying to text him. I think I’ve started to annoy him with it. But recently, like the last few months, I’ve noticed he’ll look over at me when we’re at church. Does he do that to every one? I’d wonder. It’s like that kind of awkward quick glance that changes direction once it’s seen what it was looking for. Even tonight I caught him doing it at least thrice. For the longest time I was unsure of how I felt, then I felt some pang. But now I wonder after all this time, if what I really have is love. Mom says I’m too young to know what love is and that I can’t love someone I barely know. Whats your opinion? I’m so confused. But, if I really think about it, I don’t see myself with any one but him in the future. So my point for you is, don’t ley anyone get in your way of chasing your heart, but always take your brain with you. This allows you to love til you die, but choose the right person to take with you. I hope you enjoyed this. Please remember to like, comment and follow my blog to learn more great tips and hints for your own life!

Are you feeling beautiful?

I get a lot of questions in a daily basis. A lot of them ask “How are you so confident?”, “Why are you always so happy?”, “How can I be like that?”. Well, the big secret is because I love myself. Now I’m not trying to be braggy like “Oh! I’m the best person in the world, you should all be like me!” not at all, in fact this series is all about you. The only way to be truly happy, is to like yourself. If you don’t like who you are and what you look like, how can you expect others to like you? Now sure, not every one is perfect, even I have my doubts sometimes. But if you can find the good things about your self, the thing that make you proud, don’t you think you’ll be a lot happier? Think about it, what do you like about yourself? Maybe it’s the way your hair looks when you put it up. Or maybe, it’s the way your eyes are that perfect shade. Or how about, your smile? Do you like that? Maybe it’s not your looks you like the best, but your personality. Do you like to read? How about some sports? Or maybe your favorite thing is drawing. What ever it is, you’ll find people who admire you for showing what you really like. And one more thing, never change your self for any one. That includes a boy/girl friend, a best friend, or a family member. Don’t let any one get in the way of you being you, and don’t change your self too fit into the crowd. You are you. And you are perfect. My point for you today is; Stick to what you like. Don’t become part of the crowd. Be the fish swimming against the tide. Don’t let the people around you change the way you are. Be yourself, because nothing is better than you. Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it! Don’t forget to follow my blog for more awesome tips and hints.

Life is Now, So Don’t Dwell on the Future

Recently my life has been kind of crazy. You know how when you start a new grade and the teachers give you an assignment to write about a few of your likes or dislikes, your name and age, and lastly, what you want to be in the future? Well even though we’re sort of home schooled, we got that too. But a problem has risen. Ever since then, I’ve been questioning what I want to do, who I want to be. Most teens problems with this is that they can’t find anything they want to be. Well, with me, my problem was that I had too many things I wanted to be. I wanted to be an Author which actually, that got started a while back when I started hanging around my Author friend, Deanna Leah, who actually recently published her first book. I also wanted to be a designer. Ever since I can remember I’ve been super talented and making things out of nothing, and a few months ago I made a cute top and my mom went crazy, she went on about how it was so cool that I didn’t have to use a pattern and that it came out so good. But on the other hand, I wanted to work at Disneyland. I mean I guess, who wouldn’t? You get to dress up like a character and walk around in the happiest place on earth. I’ve been to Disneyland so many times I can’t even count! And lastly, I wanted to be a preacher. I’ve always loved giving healthy advise (hence this blog), and the thought of being at the one place I love most just made it worth wild. But I found some flaws (of course there always is one). If I were to pursue becoming an author, I’m not 100% sure, I’d always want to be that. If I were to become a designer, I’m afraid I’ll fail and have to go back to the beginning, plus I wouldn’t be doing what I truly love. If I were to work at Disneyland, I’d have to leave home, which I hate the thought of, and there’s the fact you have to stand in the sun for the most part. With becoming a preacher, there’i the fact of a small salary, which would mean my husband (whoever and if I ever end up marrying to) would probably have to work as well, which leads to, if there are any children in the picture, they’ll feel neglected and unwanted because both parents work all the time.

Now. You kinda get my dilemma. But recently I’ve learned that if you spend too much time, dwelling on the future, you’ll miss whats happening right now. So my point for you today is, don’t dwell on the future, instead keep your eyes focused on the world around you and let the future come when it needs to. Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it! Don’t forget to follow my blog and look at some of my previous blogs for more great tips, with a story to go along with it.

Friendships are Hard, But They’re Worth it

For most people, we all have one best friend, whether they’re with you or not. For me, my best friend has always been the same person. And we rarely talk any more. Her name is Jessica, I knew her from my church, but we didn’t see each other that often because her family had to leave the church. Her dad was the youth pastor at the time and thought he had a better offer so took it. It was a scam and when he came back, our church had already found a new youth minister. I sometimes wonder today what our lives would have been like if that didn’t happen. But it did and for a while (even though I was oblivious to it) her family was struggling. Struggling to find her dad a job. Eventually they had to pack up and are now living in Colorado. But even though I haven’t seen her in 3 years, she’s still my best friend. Why? Well let me tell you what a best friend is, they are someone with whom one shares the strongest possible kind of friendship. Your best friend should be somebody that you can trust one hundred percent. You should be able to confide in them knowing that they will not spread your news to other people. And she was. But what is the actual definition of ‘best friend’? According to Urban Dictionary, ‘Best Friends are very special people in your life.They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up.They give the best hugs in the world! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, because it would be too painful to watch you get hurt.’. Now, this sounds like what it was like and still is for me and Jessica, but is it really? When we were little I used to go over to her house about 1 time every 2 to 3 months. Other than that, we were pen pal’s and we called each other. But was I really acting like a real friend? I’m not sure. Looking back on those days, I wish I had had better effort when we were little. I didn’t know that she would be gone all of a sudden, so I didn’t have the fear of losing her. But she did move, and I did loose her. So my tip for you is, when you have a good relationship with someone who helps you become a better person, don’t leave it how it is, make it better so that you won’t have later regrets about it. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Don’t forget to follow my blog for more helpful tips and great stories to go with them.

How Kind Acts Save Lives

What does this necklace mean? The one I’m always wearing and never take off unless I have to. I’ve had it for over a year now, about 16 months. But what’s so significant about it? Well what if I told you this one necklace changed my life? 16 months ago, June of 2013. I had been going through a time of light depression and rebellion. I was 14 years old and felt as if the world was completely against me. Now, I had ‘run away’ before but ended coming back after two hours later. The cause? Boredom. Well now I was set to go. Leave behind my past and say hello to a new future. I had packed my bag all up with everything I could or would need, including scissors and hair dye to change my look. Along with all that and some scraps of food (granola, peanut butter, nuts, ext) I had about 80$ in cash. I thought I would leave and never loom back and, it being Monday, I planned to leave on Thursday. But something changed. On Wednesday evening all of my family (With the exception of Eliana, because she wasn’t born yet) piled into our blue Honda Odyssey and drove to my Aunts house. She had gotten re-married a few years prier and now had two new step kids. Malia (12 now) and Dante (10 now). Malia and I had a connection right away after meeting 3 years ago. She and I had similar interests and therefore I told her everything like she was my sister, best friend, or psychiatrist, sometimes all three at once. That night I told her I planned on leaving and that I wanted to say good bye. She and I talked for a long time about why I was going and where I planned on staying and stuff. Knowing she could easily tell someone else, I told her the minimum. two hours later my mom called for us to go home. Right as I was about to leave the room she quickly stood up, yelled wait a sec, ran around her room like a mad man, grabbing things I couldn’t tell what. She then pushed me right out in front of the door saying ‘stay here’. She went back into her room, before coming back out and placing a small black purse no bigger than a water bottle in my hands. “Don’t open it until you get home” she said pushing me towards the stairs “Okay, I won’t” I promised then left. I had no idea what she had put in this small bag, but it was nothing I had expected. Getting home and opening it, I found inside, twenty dollars, a small, clear marble with a angel on the inside, a note, and a necklace with a flower on it. I opened the note before reading it

‘Nicole, I love you. Please don’t leave, think about what you’re leaving behind. But it you do decide to go take these, the angel is to keep you safe, and I will pray over you every day. The money is to buy you food, so that you won’t go hungry. And the necklace is so that you never forget me. Don’t take it off, okay?’

As I finished reading I sighed, folding the note back up and placing it back in the small black bag. I took the necklace and put it around my neck before walking over to my back pack to unpack. And as I took out the clothes and food and tools, I felt like I was releasing some of the tension that had built up. Most people don’t realize how much of an effect their words and actions help people. If I had left that day, I would probably be one of three possibilities. One dead broke, fishing through garbage cans for food and begging people for money, too ashamed to go home. Two, a slave, a prostitute, a person who’s lost all hope of escape. Or three, I could be dead. I’ll never know thanks to her. Her note, her words, her actions, that’s what kept me here, and I am forever grateful for that. She is one person I really look up to, even though she’s 3 years younger, she’s my role model. After that I gave her back her money and the money I had saved up to take with me. I’ll never forget that act of kindness she had towards me, and I’ll never forget those words she wrote, those life changing words an eleven year old wrote. This goes to prove, it doesn’t matter how old you are, you CAN make a difference.

Who’s your role model? Who do you go to in your time of need? Would you be willing to give up so much for a person who was leaving you? Thanks for reading, I hope you liked it.

What’s your education? I doubt it’s like ours.

What is my education like? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s kind of like home school, but not exactly. We go to our teacher, Mrs. Jenny’s house on Mondays, Wednesday’s, and Friday’s. Then on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s we’re at home doing the homework she sends home. Now in case you were wondering, here’s some info on our teacher, Mrs. Jenny. Mrs. Jenny is I’d say mid to late twenties (I haven’t asked, so I don’t know for sure), she is married and has one child, little Chloe. Chloe is just over a year (Yeah, Eliana will have fun later in life), she has light blonde hair and blue eyes, with four top teeth and two bottom. Now back on subject, Mrs. Jenny has two sisters, one is her older sister and I’ve never met her, and Holly is the younger sister. We see her pretty often because she lives with Mrs. Jenny. Mrs. Jenny was originally from Kansas, but moved to New Mexico a few years before getting married. She worked as a teacher for a while for every grade from elementary to high school in actual schools, but once Chloe was born she wanted the freedom to work while taking care of her daughter, which lead her to homeschooling at her own house. Back to the topic of school. The two boys go to school in the morning from 9 to 1 then she drops them off and picks us up and we stay from 1 to 5. It’s been great with learning all of the different things I never knew before this. In fact, I’m learning Spanish which I never would’ve been able to do without a teacher or a million bucks. Well, now you have a better view of our education. Thanks for putting up with me and listening to me get off topic and write about stupid stuff.

Take risks, they’ll lead you to success.

Well, tonight was one of those nerve racking nights for me. It was the first time I lead a song in our youth group, YX (youth explosion). Although I didn’t end up throwing up, about 6 hours ago I would’ve told you I was gonna and nothing would stop me. But it turned out great! I have co-lead other songs before, but this was my first time leading all by myself with no back up other than a light harmony. I did mess up a little on the second verse and my voice got scratchy near the end, but hey! practice makes perfect, right? I think if I learned anything from this nerve wracking experience, it’s trust yourself. Because, even if you do falter a little, you’ll always have your friends and family behind you to lift you back up and support you. I’m glad I took that small risk, because it lead to a big success and that success will lead me to even greater successes.

Meet the Fam.

My Daddy: My Daddy’s name is Andrew, but he usually goes by Andy. He used to work as a engineer out at Sandia, but now is doing real estate stuff. He’s a great guy with loads of passion and love set aside for his family.

My Mom: My Mom’s name is Amanda, going by Amy. She is that stay at home mom that everyone dislikes, but only because they’re jealous. She’s creative and makes and sells diapers for extra spending money.  I find her to be a very admirable person.

Tyler: My big brother Tyler just turned 18, 2 weeks ago on September 8th. He’s actually a pretty handsome guy, but it’d be better if he acted the same around everyone instead of picking on us then acting like an angel in front of his friends.

Nicole: Me! I have my description on my profile, but here’s a little something you might not know. I am on the praise and worship team at my church, Believers Center of Albuquerque. It’s been great learning and discovering new things each day.

Calli: My precious baby sister, Calli, is 14 years old. She likes LPS (Littlest Pet Shop. A golf ball sized toy that’s usually in the shape of an animal), writing, and art. She’s the type of person that’s usually late, but once she gets there she’s the life of the party. She’s the one with the curly/frizzy brown hair and gorgeous brown eyes.

Elijah: My little brother, Elijah, is 12 years old. He’s the goofy looking one with brown hair and eyes. If you wanted to get him talking there’s about two things that could get him talking. Minecraft, and video games in general.

Isaiah: Isaiah is 6 years old. Every family has the know-it-all kid, you know, the one who thinks they know everything. Well, here’s ours. He’s at the age where he thinks he knows everything and if you try to correct something he’ll argue with you about it for an hour.

Caden: Caden is 5 years old, and the biggest little munchkin you’ve ever seen. Despite the fact that he’s had a hard time pronouncing his words, he’s the cutest little creature on the planet.

Ezekiel: Ezekiel is 3 years old, and for a while he thought he was the last of us all. He’s very shy and quiet by himself, like on days when the other two are at school he barely speaks, but get him with his two role models and he’ll be the loudest one of the bunch.

Eliana: Eliana is the newest and last of the family coming in at 1 year old. Her birthday last month was bigger than my 13th. Lol. She’s the cutie with a temper and the stink face. The cutest face you’ll ever see is her stink face. It’s kind of a mix between glare and pout.